Wintering at home
Lots of folks REALLY struggle with Winter, have SAD, and find the darkness and cold, claustrophobic and depressing. And if this is you, I'm sorry, I know how that feels. If you hate winter in a country with long winters, it means you're spending most of every year feeling really depressed and miserable, and life is too short! I just don't want that for you. So today I'm going be talking about embracing winter and styling for winter, all focused on how to enjoy this season, and how our homes are key.
I used to despise winter. When I was 10, the week before Christmas, my mum died of cancer so it's always felt incredibly sad. I've got really bad circulation and lived in an old, drafty house so I was sad and freezing cold most of every winter.
Fast forward to now, and I absolutely love it. Not just tolerate, but actively enjoy. The shift is that I have learned over years of winter misery, to finally listen to what Winter is trying to tell us.
Pivotal mindset shifts for winter
1. we need winter.
I need this reminder over and over again. We cannot be in a constant state of growth and productivity. We would burn out big time if this were the case. We need periods of being fallow. We need darkness, just like in nature, which spends nearly half of the year resting and sleeping.
I feel the need to be productive. I value my day against how productive it's been, and I have to stop myself and ask, am I rested? Did I sleep enough? Did I do something pleasurable? And actively step away from that need to be on and productive 24 7, which is generated by the toxic capitalist and patriarchal system that we live in.
2. Winter does not = death.
My second realisation about winter is that winter does not equal death. There's actually a lot happening in winter. The trees are not dead. They are resting. They are gathering energy, ruminating, getting ready for growth. I think that is such an incredibly valuable mindset shift.
3. Winter requires rest
A lot of resting happens in winter. Nature is resting and recouping and getting ready to grow. Illness is rife each winter, and a lot of that is our bodies telling us to slow down. Try to prevent illness by resting rather than powering through until you can't get out of bed. I've learned that if I don't take that time to rest, I get ill. My body will just stop me, so I’m more careful about listening to the early signs of illness (fatigue, that tickle in the back of your throat, sinuses bunging up)
Important note: it is a privilege to take three days off work and head to head off a cold in bed. Caring and money-earning responsibilities may mean that this is not possible. If you do have a job where you can take a few days off to head off an illness, my God, you should do that! But if you cannot do that, how can you incorporate more rest?
My nourishing January
This January, I was intentional about taking it incredibly slowly. I've read six books (!) I scheduled days and half days in bed and barely left the house. It's felt so restful and nourishing. I've been planning my year, setting up my planner, figuring out how I want to feel this year, figuring out my income goals, doing my business planning, planning for my personal life; all quite gently and slowly and often from my bed. I have prioritised rest over almost everything else. I have massively slimmed down any appointments, work calls, and even social activities this month just to completely recharge after a really busy pre-Christmas period working very long days and weekends.
I've also been doing some gentle decluttering, which also feels really, really lovely.
It’s been the most restful January I can remember.
These realisations have been long and slow, but life-changing for me. I've gone from hating winter to loving it. Not all the facets of it, but a deeper understanding of why we need it.
What if you can accept that we need winter, that we can't always be growing and producing and being active but you still find it miserable? What then?
How can we support ourselves to have a cosy, restful, joyful Winter at home?
I'm talking here about a literal winter, but also a figurative winter. You could be in a winter in one period of your life. For example, you might be grieving the death of a loved one, but you might be in a summer period emotionally in another period of your life. So you might be having a really amazing, fruitful time with your children. These things can coexist. So: how to weather winter?
I believe that our homes can make the difference between a dreary, depressing winter and a joyful restful winter. I believe that our home is key to that transition.
Most of us are spending more time in our homes than at any point in history. Post-Covid this is now even higher. Lots of people have not returned to their normal working pattern and are spending at least part of the week working from home. Our social lives and travelling lives are changed forever. You might work from home part of, or all of the week, you might be caring for young children at home, you might be homeschooling, retired, have a health issue. We're a nation of home-bodies whether we like it or not.
So it makes a lot of sense that the way our homes function and feel will have a big impact on our mood and our happiness. This is even more critical when we are in winter.
The magic of Islands of calm
I want to give you some ideas to create as many cozy, glowy pockets of loveliness in your home as possible. The way I encourage you to do this is through:
Islands of calm.
This is an overwhelm-friendly way of upping the levels of beauty and joy and calm in your home without feeling like you need to overhaul the entire house.
If you are mid-renovation, mid-decor project or your house is just a massive mess; if you know you need the house to feel nice in order to feel good, then focus on islands of calm.
Shift your focus away from "I need to deal with this room" to "I need to create islands of calm." It is life-changing.
When I'm working with my design clients, I get them to focus on this no matter what stage in the design process they're at. It's even more important if they are pre-design and living in a wreck of a house phase! If you've lived in a home that's being renovated, you know how dusty, depressing, and dreary it can be. So if this is you, please do yourself a favour and create some islands of calm in your home.
Some ideas below!
Island of calm: bedside table
I will bang on about the potential of a bedside table till the cows come home. It is the last thing we see at night and the first thing we see in the morning. So clear off the dust. Take away the books that you've read and don't need. Get rid of the tablets and medicines that you had from when you were last poorly. Clear off the random crap that's scattered there, and then instead put some flowers or beautiful winter branches. Smells are incredibly important, scent your home in a beautiful way. This could be via Reed diffusers; any kind of diffuser, scented candle etc. My preferred method of scenting a space is to flick pure essential oil around my home.
Island of calm: The kitchen table
Try to create an island of calm on your kitchen table, even if it's just half of the table. I realise that clearing off the entire table might be too much of a big job for you right now. The best way to create an island of calm on the kitchen table is to place some things on a tray in the centre (very few things dont benefit from being corralled onto a tray somewhere!) Put some dinner candles on it, maybe a little pot with matches in a pot with spare candles and some seasonings for the table. It's like a mini altar or pause in the middle of a chaotic table. It encourages lighting the candles, which I encourage you to do at breakfast, at lunch, at dinner, by yourself, with friends or with your children.
Island of calm: mantlepiece or sideboard.
Clear off your mantle piece and instead just put some of your favourite, most treasured, beautiful items there. Consider this as a museum of you. A photo of a treasured holiday or favourite person, a memento or little object that reminds you of something really joyful; a collection of pebbles or shells or feathers from a important walk that you took or from a favourite place. Vary the heights so add some tall candles, branches, or maybe a taller piece of art or a glorious, big mirror.
The ultimate island of calm... The bed
Buckle in, I have a LOT to say about this!
I love my bed so much. Just thinking about it makes me smile. This bed section has subsections. Oh yes, my friend. I do take it very, very seriously.
I want for you what I have when I look at my bed, which is just a sigh of pleasure. A desire to crawl in. I want you to feel so happy when you think about your bed that you cannot wait to get in it. Hopefully you see now how doing this aids your general love of winter, or at least tolerance of winter?
We're gonna start with the basics. Your bed structure.
Is it squeaky and rickety? Could you spend time tightening bolts, shoring it up? Maybe you've got a broken bed slat that needs fixing. Do you need to replace the headboard? If you hate the headboard and you can't afford to replace it, could you hang a quilt or comforter or blanket over it instead, is there something else you could do? Could you paint your bed a joyful or calming colour. Is it the right size for you?
Mattress:
(This is not sponsored in any way) We have a Leesa mattress. It was part of a PR campaign when I was pregnant, so it’s 6 years old. If I were to get a mattress now I'd go for a natural one. Sometimes memory foam mattresses can be plasticy and bad for the environment. However, our Leesa memory foam mattress has been a dream. My husband and I sleep so much better on it than we did on our previous mattress. I really like memory foam because it means that we don't jostle each other in the bed when we're sleeping.
It's a king size, so you need to get the right size of bed for you and your family. Ours needed to be big enough to comfortably have our youngest in our bed.
Mattress cover and topper
Protect your mattress, especially if you've invested in a fancy one. Mattresses can get gross real quick, so a cover will mean that your mattress lasts much longer.
I have a child who gets in our bed still and occasionally has an accident. So we have to have a waterproof protector on our bed. I use a waterproof sheet with a Terry Towelling side so it doesn't sound or feel too plasticky.
If you like the feel of sinking into a cloud, then you also need to add a mattress topper. Or if you have a spare double or king-size duvet, put that underneath the sheet and then just experience how gorgeous and soft it is to climb into bed with that extra layer of softness under your sheet. It is such a treat.
If you like a firm bed, you may not like a topper, so this is all down to your personal preference. Whatever you do, you should be making your dream bed!
Duvet and pillows.
My preference since I was a child is to have feather duvets and pillows. I have some ethical concerns about the down industry because it can be really cruel, so I got around this by buying secondhand pillows and secondhand duvet. Some people might be completely grossed out by that. I just was not! Mine been barely used; someone had bought them as guest bedding and then not used them.
You want something that's breathable, that's natural and that keeps you super cosy and warm.
Bed Linen:
Try to stay away from polycottons or anything that isn't natural. If that places it outside of your budget, then look out on secondhand sites for something in your budget (you can stick it on a 90 wash or even boil if if you're super squeamish!) I've bought lots of secondhand bedding for kids from Facebook marketplace and eBay. I cannot regulate my body temperature. I've never been able to, since I was a child either too hot or too cold. So whatever I have on my bed needs to be breathable. I cannot wait to get rid of the waterproof sheet on our bed and just have a mattress protector because I don't like the plastic layer. But I have as much natural, breathable material around me on my bed as possible.
It will not be a surrise to learn that my preference is a 100% pure linen. It wears really well, is soft, breathable, and it feels absolutely gorgeous against my skin. There are so many linen brands now available ranging from shops like H&M and Zara Home all the way up to luxury Linen companies.
Linen can sometimes be disappointingly thin, and so I would say go to the shops and try to feel it or ask for a sample. You can sometimes get some amazing bargains secondhand as well.
You can have fun with your bedding because you can change it so easily, especially if you rent and you can't decorate your space. You could bring in unexpected colouror a gorgeous pattern. I've got a deep terracotta red set that I just adore and it brings so much life to the room.
Bed styling; finishing touches.
I like to have extra pillows on the bed, you may not; this is up to you. I spend a lot of time in my bed, so I like the extra pillows for lounging and reading and watching tv. But you might prefer a more minimalist set up. I've got two large square pillows and two smaller square pillows, and then I sometimes also have a long bolster. The main thing is that they are adequately plump. Go for an inner that is either one size too big or combine two together so that they're gorgeous and fat. A thin, floppy inner can make even a luxury pillow case look really crap.
Get the hotel bed look by stacking your pillows up big to small.
Blankets and quilts
I like to style a bed with a duvet, then a quilt and then a blanket! Experiment with folding the duvet back. You might wanna tuck it under the pillows. Have the duvet over the top of the pillows. You could bring in some really gorgeous colours and have some fun with it.
Lastly, spend time making your bed every morning so that when you get home after work, or when you finish for work for the day, it is ready and welcoming you.
How could you make your bed the coziest nest that you could possibly make? Can you clear some time to enjoy it?!
Lighting
Low, cozy, glowy light is so important in the winter. Avoid the big overhead light as much as humanly possible. Re try to get lamps in the corners of the rooms. Light the corners of your rooms and add in fairy lights, candle light and as much low glowy candle light as possible to keep your body feeling calm and cozy and able to sleep at night.
Bringing more joy to your home.
Our Winter homes really need joy! One of the best ways to do this is to hang art! Most of us have art that we've been meaning to hang. Do you?! It can have a completely transformative effect on the space. Because you have probably selected your art really carefully, you've chosen something that moves you or has a lovely memory attached to it. It will have an immediate feel good factor. Adding art to your walls around your home is a surefire way of upping the levels of joy. Could you add some art to your bathroom? Could you create a gallery wall above the sofa, above the bed? Add a print in the hallway?
So it's over to you. Where are you gonna create an island of calm in your home? And how are you gonna up-level your bed? Let me know!
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